If you know me, you know I'm a strawberry blondish frecklish mess. Of course that didn't stop me from oh say...1988-1997 -laying many a day on my fun island in the middle of the lake wearing baby oil and Sun In. (Of course all while listening to mixed tapes on my 'boom box'). And I may have hit a tanning bed or two while in my twenties (hello, there was one at my Ad Agency!)
So now as my 37th Birthday is rapidly approaching (gasp? what?!) I'm obsessed with trying to look young, stay young, prevent wrinkles and sags and what have you. I headed to the Dermatologist for my yearly "freckle check". Eegads. I know I have sun damage - and I wear SPF makeup (Laura Mercier -) but I do admit to being slow to put on the sunblock on a sunny day.. hoping for a little 'color' first. Um yeah. No more.
So she gave me the once over, said the thing I was worried about was nothing, but that she needed to freeze the two pre cancerous areas on my chest and face?! And is immediately holding some big spritzer of liquid nitrogen or whatever it is that they use to do that. Gulp! I could barely stammer that I had a social gathering to attend that night, before I was frozen and zinged and dazedly walked out with instructions to begin wearing hats, mineral sun block and come back every six months for checks.
So now my morning routine is getting WORSE as I get older.. not easier. I have to add 10 minutes for all the stupid lotions and liquids I have to put on to maintain any prayer of semi presentable bod.
When you get out of the shower (after having to do all those ministrations)- it's just the beginning; Deoderant (of course the uber strong enough for sweaty baboons kind), self tanning lotion for the legs (currently enjoying Jergens?! and it doesn't make me stink like fake tanner!) , toner for the face, Tend Skin for the bikini region (because why would you use anything else?), moisturizer for the face, SkinCeuticals (actually like this stuff) for the face, DIFFERENT sun block (that smells good and is like lotion) for the arms and shoulders and that's all before trying to pick out an outfit and put on make up - forget having time for decent hair!
How the heck do strippers do this? I mean this is just for one Mom - who's biggest social engagement of the day might mean a glass of wine with other Mom friends that evening. Or running into someone you know at the grocery store. All of this is completely lost on a husband - who has no clue or appreciation for this zaniness. And sadly, now that my mineral sunblock means NO color of any kind - I'm heading up pronto to get the latest sun less tanning lotion (Lancome Flash Bronzer-have seen rave reviews - will report back.) for my face and chest.. I'm thinking that the kids are old enough to learn to make breakfast for themselves... that will buy me a few more minutes? Right?
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