Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Mommy - Macgyver Style


It was a beautiful day today - so after a gross day stuck inside hashing out negotiations on the phone with folks in different time zones, I was HAPPY to get out and enjoy the sunshine!

As the afternoon unfolded though, I just had to inwardly comment (and now outwardly for your entertainment) on all the stuff that Mom's have to be ready to handle.

- "Picnic Dinner" In theory, great fun a change of pace on such a nice day. We swing down to Ivars for some fish sticks to go and a nice grilled salmon salad for Mommy. Get to the park, no forks, no napkins. So Mommy ate her salad with a toy wooden spoon from the play room that was on the floor of the car and thank goodness for the Costco size wipes to stand in as napkins. (BTW I will still be buying these when I no longer have kids in the house.. seriously.) I did however consider using the mini fake leatherman in my emergency kit. Added Bonus: (The judgy stares of other Mothers as my kids ate their french fries was free.)

- "I have to poop" Yeah, kids always have to go to the bathroom right after you've left home or someplace with a decent bathroom. We'd just tucked into our picnic dinner, so leaving wasn't an option. And my public bathroom shy 3 year old wouldn't be able to stand on the toilet seat of the San O Can to execute (as it was quite full and not sure sitting was an option because of it... yes..double ewww..) So MacGyver Mommy whips out the 'emergency potty'! The little foldup seat with garbage sacks with piddle pads in them that you throw away after use. So I had to walk from the car past two conversing Dad's trying hide the fact I was carrying my 3 year olds poop in a bag. Body positioning is key in this instance. This is all of course while keeping a third eye on my 6 year old so she wouldn't be stolen by strangers while waiting at the picnic table for us.

- "Bleeding Wound" This one is not mine, but did happen while I was at the park for this picnic extravaganza. Mom with 3 kids somehow wounded her finger while pushing 2 of her kids in swings. It was bleeding a fair amount - and she finally had to whip off the cute scarf she was wearing to staunch the blood flow - of course all the while instructing her youngest on how to pump her legs for maximum swing height. She of course laughed off my offer a bandaid (from my emergency kit that will have forks in it tomorrow..) while the whole time I was wondering if she had OxiClean at her house.

There's so many funny stories of things we've had to do - socks as kleenex etc...Tell me yours! Just don't tell me you're the one feeding a banana to your kid in the grocery store before you pay for it- because I'll get all indignant. (Until I realize it's PCC and kids get free fruit...)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Musings from a Grade School Talent Show

My first year as a parent of grade schooler has brought all kinds of new experiences. Last week was my first 'talent show'. The kindergarteners were not invited to particpate, and I totally get why - no problems here. I thought I'd get away with not going to this event this year, until MY grade schooler begged me to go while we were sitting at the dinner table. I'm a sucker - never wanting to miss anything that might be remotely social and so I agreed.

First off I have to preface this entire blog entry with the acknowledgement that it takes ALOT of guts to get up in front of your peers, their parents, friends, grandparents, etc.. and perform. Much less sing a solo etc.. I was impressed at the range of kids who did this. From 1st Graders to 6th Graders. However, I have some questions.

-If your kid chooses to do a trumpet solo, but hasn't quite mastered the trumpet - do you stand behind them and say 'go for it!' or do you suggest that maybe they try for something else? And when it feels as though said trumpet solo is going on for EVER and is uncomfortable - is the parent proud? Or did they feel like I did - and had to fidget and look away?

-Is Lady Gaga appropriate for 5th Graders? I consider myself far from a prude and not super conservative, but I felt like Mrs. Olsen from Little House on the Prarie muttering 'well I never!' to myself multiple times throught the evening. What are those children wearing? Do they know what the song means? If I'm a parent, am I okay with that? I'm NOT okay with that - and you KNOW that a parent helped them put together those outfits. Granted the moves were approriate, no hip thrusts etc.. but hello! It's Lady Gaga - and she's drunk and lost her keys and her phone......

-Chivalry is not dead. All kinds of parents and people are at these events - and in my neighborhood we're lucky to have a diverse community. I watched a gentleman in front of me, jump out of his chair and pull it up for a woman with a cane who came in late. That was awesome. And sadly is something we don't have enough of. It made my day.

-Chubby little girls who will be super cool when they're 24. As an adult when you watch all these kids act and interact, it's pretty clear who's 'popular' and who isn't so much maybe. There was the young girl who stood up there in her glasses and jeans and shirt and it looked like I might have to get all fidgety and look away, and then she sang. And she was great! With a cool voice and a shy sense of self and you could look into the future and see how happy she'll be when she is out of high school...

- Oh and lastly - huge 'shout out' to the 5th or 6th grade kid who did a very awesome dance - all by himself. In traditional Indian attire to a very cool beat. The Dad sitting next to me and I both had to give each other the 'wow -that's great -eyes'. To be a fly on the wall at his house. Does he have a Mom and Aunts and Grandmas or maybe a Dad who taught him all those great moves? Did he practice all the time? It made me think of the tune my 3 y.o. has been singing mercilessly while shaking her tush in my face, "I like to move it, move it.."

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Never Been Accused of Being Dainty

Why is it when you try to be healthy and work on achieving a more svelte figure, that your body is not on board. Seriously.

My good friend and I are on a 6 week quest of better eating and increased exercise. Notice, I'm not referencing some crazy diet that I know I couldn't continue for 6 weeks. Because truthfully, come Friday night(and Saturday and sometimes Sunday)- do NOT stand between me and a big glass of red vino. I don't know many eating programs that welcome the extra empty calories of a glass of wine. But this is real life and wine is part of my real life. And it makes Momma happy.

But this isn't about wine. Yesterday when my 10A snack time rolled around and I was ravenous because I hadn't had enough protein at breakfast time.. like a good and healthy individual, I busted out the bag of baby carrots and some hummus. Healthy for you - veggie serving, low carb etc.. Ummm.. yeah.. why then does your body rebel to the copious amounts of inhaled hummus and retaliate with the production of a lethal poisonous substance. Seriously! Good thing I didn't have to be around people yesterday. I'm still not sure the cat has a pulse, but serves him right for invading my space. But this is what we get when we bypass the chips and opt for something better? It's not just hummus. No offense to Kashi, but forget Kashi. I might as well be 6 months pregnant for what that whole grain goodness does to my body. I thought I was dying the first time I tried it the oatmeal -but an unofficial poll confirms I am not alone (and yes you healthy freak o's I DO drink a ton of water!). As a side note, how do these actresses who claim they only eat humongo amounts of veggies with their small piece of grilled chicken not encounter these same kinds of issues??

In this quest for a more natural lifestyle (let's face it - as natural as I can be.... which is much less than the average REI member) I also wanted to try a more natural deodorant. I am fearful that the aluminum, or whichever not good for you ingredient is in clinical strength deodorant, is for sure at toxic levels in my body. Because I am disgusting. Ask my husband. I am not a demure and delicate flower. I sweat. I stink. I am also good at household repairs, but that is for another article. Note to self. Natural deodorant is just that. NOT an antiperspirant. Which I knew...but was hoping for anyway. And tea tree oil, or magic rock crystal etc.. DO NOT SMELL GOOD when mixed with a hot armpit. I'm not even talking about when you've done a good work out. More like I'm glad I didn't pay more than $7 for this white t shirt because it is now disgusting and it's a regular Monday kind of thing. I knew that the small travel size of natural deodorant that I picked up at PCC would not do it for me. But I keep trying.

So I've been working out alot and eating lots of veggies and less carbs and I now have a bloated belly and the ability bomb a small village at will - combined with the aroma of sweaty tea tree. This is NOT working out for me.