The Triple Threat

I've said it before. I love other people's stories. Love to hear them, love to tell them, love it. So I have to share one from my BFF this week.

Her 6 year old son is the cutest thing ever. He's sweet, quite handsome and is already premier league athlete material. As her neighbor says, for casting his high school future - 'the triple threat'.

He's also a bit of a Mama's boy. My BFF has quite an extensive network of neighborhood friends and she rarely has to get an official 'babysitter'. Usually it's just trade with her kids friends parents. Last week she had to resort to getting a real babysitter. A sweet, cute, local high schooler. Her son was beside himself. He was very stressed out. He didn't know this girl, he didn't want his Mom to leave. He wasn't having it.

She was feeling a bit badly about it and the next morning she asked her 9 year old how the evening went. Did her little brother do okay with the babysitter? Her daughter snorted and continued pouring her cereal. She says in a mature tone... "Please. 5 minutes after you left he was upstairs putting a 1/2 bottle of Dad's hair gel in his hair to impress the baby sitter". Nice. Love it. Starting Early.

Managing Hypochondria

I think the Red Dress Women's Heart Disease Campaign is working too well. The other night as I sat down to watch my pre recorded American Idol, my heart started racing and my arms felt numb. It was like I couldn't get a deep enough breath.

I tried not to panic and calmly told my husband that I didn't feel that great. This is never new news to him. My stomach is always the basis for much complaining and moaning and groaning. Particularly when associated with french fry eating (You need a shock collar! He tells me often.) I always have some sort of headache that makes me turn off his annoying 37 minute classic rock songs and I can't stand listening to the cat yowl in the evenings while I'm making dinner. (FYI screaming SHUT UP to a cat doesn't really work. Plus it's annoying to have to tell your kids those are not words we use in our family...)

These were all new crazy feelings. Luckily we're so used to being 'wired' that I didn't have to wait to see if I would make it through the night. I jumped on WebMD to check out my symptoms on the 'symptom checker'. I guess if you input anything having to do with difficulty breathing it all immediately goes to "proceed immediately to the nearest urgent care center". Oh. Yeah I didn't feel like I was dying enough to get off the couch and put on a bra and shoes. I remember the Dr. telling my Mom that if you're having a heart attack it will feel like someone is standing on your chest. Mine really felt more like Emerald Downs opening day in my chest.

Well I made it through the night and even worked out with my friend early the next morning and I didn't die then either. I did however make an appointment with my very nice Doctor.

Apparently I had an anxiety attack. Great - now I'm just like my high maintenance sensitive friend that I've often had to shake my head at. The one who I've had to talk down from crazy panic attacks in random places. The who has been on all kinds of prescription drugs over the past 10 years. No thanks. I'll pass.

My Doctor says patients have success with 'relaxation tapes'. Or another friend recommends meditative yoga. "Not the downward dog type yoga" she says. I headed home after picking up both girls from daycare and school respectively. Racing to start dinner so I could run out again for my once a quarter gathering with some old friends.

As I'm starting my harried journey, I see a sign for 'Buddhist Meditation Classes.'
That sign was definitely not there yesterday.
Hhhhmmmmmm.

Galavanting in Swimsuits with Adults You Don't Know

This weekend I realized that I officially am not in tune with the 'vibe' of my daughter's school. Like when you're dating and realize it's just not going to work. Seriously.

I can't do any of the events, meetings, reading help, egg carton gathering, coffee hours etc... (and the etc is lengthy) at her school, because they all happen WHILE I'M WORKING. I realized too late, that I am in the severe minority of this school community - being a woman who works in an office, full time. (And apparently not many wear high heels either, because some child asked me why I was wearing those shoes? Umm.. why are you wearing that sweatshirt? Because you want to!) But as usual, I digress.

Since I cannot often help out or participate in the school events, when they have the "Family Fun Outings" I feel it necessary to go. I have to at least make an effort to be involved, lest I be a total leper. Last month we ice skated (and I had to reintroduce myself to most everyone). I couldn't participate the month before in sledding because it happened with a week's notice. On a Friday. At 11AM. While I was WORKING.

So this weekend was a Family Swim Outing. I should have clued in that it was a 'Family' Swim Outing. Apparently I hang with crowd of Mom's with a totally different mind set. I assumed since Kate could swim without assistance, that only one of us would get into the pool to swim with Riley. Typically I do not CHOOSE to put on my swimsuit in April in front of a whole bunch of parents that I do not know and jump around. So I didn't bring mine. I was the ONLY LOSER MOM not in the pool!! Seriously! I felt like the biggest horses arse. Am I so selfish about my own issues that I wouldn't swim and frolick with my child?

Kate proceeded to be her solitary self and not swim with any of her friends.....and refused to swim with Jeff and Riley. So there is my lone 5 year old - in the deep pool all by herself. While her selfish mother wearing shoes NOT appropriate for the pool area watches on. I felt so stupid I even looked at purchasing a swimsuit from the lobby store....but I didn't feel $78 worth of ugly utilitarian swimsuit guilty.

One Dad asked me from the pool how come I was not swimming. I could think of no witty answer. The truth was all very selfish. I have to go to dinner at my in laws directly after this and didn't want to have wet hair and raccoon eyes? I'm still working on getting back in shape and didn't feel like having to show off all my jiggles to all those judging stay at home Mom's? None of those were appropriate.... I just laughed and stammered at a total loss for words. Hopefully it came off as mysterious. Maybe I have some hideous scar I can't bear to show. Yeah, okay probably not.

Lesson learned. Next time I'll be the one cannonballing and laughing and frolicking with my children. Why the hell didn't I do that? I just assumed the kids would all play together and the parents would chat and watch on like we do at swim lessons at this same pool. Thank goodness my awesome husband was of the same mindset and backed me up.... But I can't help wondering, are there bigger lessons for me here? Jeez!