This weekend I realized that I officially am not in tune with the 'vibe' of my daughter's school. Like when you're dating and realize it's just not going to work. Seriously.
I can't do any of the events, meetings, reading help, egg carton gathering, coffee hours etc... (and the etc is lengthy) at her school, because they all happen WHILE I'M WORKING. I realized too late, that I am in the severe minority of this school community - being a woman who works in an office, full time. (And apparently not many wear high heels either, because some child asked me why I was wearing those shoes? Umm.. why are you wearing that sweatshirt? Because you want to!) But as usual, I digress.
Since I cannot often help out or participate in the school events, when they have the "Family Fun Outings" I feel it necessary to go. I have to at least make an effort to be involved, lest I be a total leper. Last month we ice skated (and I had to reintroduce myself to most everyone). I couldn't participate the month before in sledding because it happened with a week's notice. On a Friday. At 11AM. While I was WORKING.
So this weekend was a Family Swim Outing. I should have clued in that it was a 'Family' Swim Outing. Apparently I hang with crowd of Mom's with a totally different mind set. I assumed since Kate could swim without assistance, that only one of us would get into the pool to swim with Riley. Typically I do not CHOOSE to put on my swimsuit in April in front of a whole bunch of parents that I do not know and jump around. So I didn't bring mine. I was the ONLY LOSER MOM not in the pool!! Seriously! I felt like the biggest horses arse. Am I so selfish about my own issues that I wouldn't swim and frolick with my child?
Kate proceeded to be her solitary self and not swim with any of her friends.....and refused to swim with Jeff and Riley. So there is my lone 5 year old - in the deep pool all by herself. While her selfish mother wearing shoes NOT appropriate for the pool area watches on. I felt so stupid I even looked at purchasing a swimsuit from the lobby store....but I didn't feel $78 worth of ugly utilitarian swimsuit guilty.
One Dad asked me from the pool how come I was not swimming. I could think of no witty answer. The truth was all very selfish. I have to go to dinner at my in laws directly after this and didn't want to have wet hair and raccoon eyes? I'm still working on getting back in shape and didn't feel like having to show off all my jiggles to all those judging stay at home Mom's? None of those were appropriate.... I just laughed and stammered at a total loss for words. Hopefully it came off as mysterious. Maybe I have some hideous scar I can't bear to show. Yeah, okay probably not.
Lesson learned. Next time I'll be the one cannonballing and laughing and frolicking with my children. Why the hell didn't I do that? I just assumed the kids would all play together and the parents would chat and watch on like we do at swim lessons at this same pool. Thank goodness my awesome husband was of the same mindset and backed me up.... But I can't help wondering, are there bigger lessons for me here? Jeez!
I can't do any of the events, meetings, reading help, egg carton gathering, coffee hours etc... (and the etc is lengthy) at her school, because they all happen WHILE I'M WORKING. I realized too late, that I am in the severe minority of this school community - being a woman who works in an office, full time. (And apparently not many wear high heels either, because some child asked me why I was wearing those shoes? Umm.. why are you wearing that sweatshirt? Because you want to!) But as usual, I digress.
Since I cannot often help out or participate in the school events, when they have the "Family Fun Outings" I feel it necessary to go. I have to at least make an effort to be involved, lest I be a total leper. Last month we ice skated (and I had to reintroduce myself to most everyone). I couldn't participate the month before in sledding because it happened with a week's notice. On a Friday. At 11AM. While I was WORKING.
So this weekend was a Family Swim Outing. I should have clued in that it was a 'Family' Swim Outing. Apparently I hang with crowd of Mom's with a totally different mind set. I assumed since Kate could swim without assistance, that only one of us would get into the pool to swim with Riley. Typically I do not CHOOSE to put on my swimsuit in April in front of a whole bunch of parents that I do not know and jump around. So I didn't bring mine. I was the ONLY LOSER MOM not in the pool!! Seriously! I felt like the biggest horses arse. Am I so selfish about my own issues that I wouldn't swim and frolick with my child?
Kate proceeded to be her solitary self and not swim with any of her friends.....and refused to swim with Jeff and Riley. So there is my lone 5 year old - in the deep pool all by herself. While her selfish mother wearing shoes NOT appropriate for the pool area watches on. I felt so stupid I even looked at purchasing a swimsuit from the lobby store....but I didn't feel $78 worth of ugly utilitarian swimsuit guilty.
One Dad asked me from the pool how come I was not swimming. I could think of no witty answer. The truth was all very selfish. I have to go to dinner at my in laws directly after this and didn't want to have wet hair and raccoon eyes? I'm still working on getting back in shape and didn't feel like having to show off all my jiggles to all those judging stay at home Mom's? None of those were appropriate.... I just laughed and stammered at a total loss for words. Hopefully it came off as mysterious. Maybe I have some hideous scar I can't bear to show. Yeah, okay probably not.
Lesson learned. Next time I'll be the one cannonballing and laughing and frolicking with my children. Why the hell didn't I do that? I just assumed the kids would all play together and the parents would chat and watch on like we do at swim lessons at this same pool. Thank goodness my awesome husband was of the same mindset and backed me up.... But I can't help wondering, are there bigger lessons for me here? Jeez!
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