Shhh....... My Holiday Gift Shopping Finds!

I love shopping for gifts. Finding the right thing for each person. It's a passion and dare say an art of mine. Not that all my gifts are received with the same joy as they were picked out, but I try.

I'm pretty close to done with the Holiday shopping. I say Holiday because Jeff's family celebrates Chanukah and my family Christmas. This year Chanukah is early - starting on December 1st. So I had to get a move on!

I like to shop locally (and USA produced) when I can. I make a concerted effort. I buy from the toy store and book store downtown. HOWEVER some of the things I need, aren't to be found in my little village. Enter Amazon Prime. Did you know if you sign up for Amazon Prime (free two day shipping on any product that is fulfilled by Amazon) and cancel after 30 days - there is no annual fee? AND that if you're a new Mom they have Amazon Mom - free for 3 months. Let's just say Santa delivered his gifts in two days in some Amazon boxes. Done and done. All while sipping coffee at my computer. Love it!

Next up for my local peeps. Cotton Caboodle Outlet. I've long raved about this little gem of a store. 100% cotton clothing for kids and women. Most everything is under $15. I saw the same shirt that I got there for $15 at my friend's boutique for $50. FIFTY?!! So today I dropped in quickly to grab a specific shirt to go under my planned Thanksgiving ensemble - and what did I find, but some FANTASTIC fun cotton scarfs that screamed 'teacher gifts!' for $12. In regular retail stores they are $27. Mark those babies off the list!

XBox - Kinect Combo pack. 250gb (like I know what this means..)but on Amazon it was priced at $448 - hello Costco for $389! (Online looks like it was priced at $399). Yes this means I'm not getting that purse I'm drooling over - and my husband gets to skip getting 2 sweaters and a button down like every other year. Hopefully the kids will enjoy it and I'll embrace electronics. Website says they're sold out - but maybe they have more coming?! No you can't have mine!

So after you check off those lists - for me it means wrapping and shipping. I never can go wrong with my local UPS guy. I've actually had good luck in general with UPS - but the owner/manager? of my particular location is a superstar. Always SUPER nice. Most everytime I've had a coupon, or gotten a punch card discount. He doesn't get irritated when I can't remember the zip code to Brooklyn NY. And my packages always get there in one piece and on time. (Although I did have to ask him not to use peanuts...). If you're in my hood - give him a whirl! And unlike the post office, they'll tape up your boxes for you - NO extra charge!

Okay friends - do share - what are your favorite finds this season?!

The Art and Joy of the Letter

Anyone one in my near radius this past week probably knows that I just got a big box of 'memorabilia' from my parents who recently cleaned out their storage unit. Sorting through all the stuff in there has been fun and crazy - but one thing stands out. We wrote letters!

I have all kinds of letters! Letters from my friends when I was 11, my camp counselor, letters from my high school boyfriend, and my good friend and subsequent pen pal who joined the military shortly after we graduated, tiny notes asking if I could go to the movie, angry notes about why did someone do such and such during 5th period. I love it.

I forgot how much I LOVE a real letter! Love it. I love when you see your name on an envelope in the mailbox, or find a scrap of paper with a little message just for you. The tangible enjoyment of seeing a friend's handwriting cover a page in words - the time taken specifically for you.

So I'm bringing back the art of the letter. I've decided that over the next year I'm going take the time to write a real live letter when those memories or birthdays or whatever it is presents an opportunity.

Ah the joy of a letter.

What's a better way of saying 'Ball-less'?

This one's going to be lengthy so buckle in.

I had a hard time titling this -but the anger is still fresh, so I'm not at my most eloquent.

Last night after having a whirlwind two days of working on a project with my friend (thanks Jefe for holding down the fort), I went through the mail only to find that someone had 'anonymously' sent my husband a pamphlet from Alcoholics Anonymous. It read something like 'Does your loved one struggle with alcohol dependency..' and so on.

At first I was puzzled and a little dismissive, until some investigation led to the fact that AA does not send out pamphlets unprompted. Someone had to send or ask for it to be sent. WTF.

I feel like I've been kicked in the throat. Seriously. I'm taking this PERSONALLY - and have gone through those stages of grief or acceptance or what not.. but I'm not yet to the laugh about it stage.

First of, yes, it's a given that I enjoy cocktails. Initially I wanted to defend myself, but I don't feel it necessary at this point. Marriage is a partnership and my rarely imbibing husband does not feel that my enjoyment of wine and spirits warrants any AA intervention. And while I have a very loud and direct personality, he is not fooled, nor scared of me and would set me straight.

Second of all - Of course I reflected back to the past couple of weeks just to see if there was anything in there that should alarm someone to the point of anonymous mail. I see a woman who quit her fantastic job to be more available to her family. One who still works very hard at her paying job along with volunteering in her kid's schools, signing up to bring treats and teacher appreciation salads. The one who was up late cutting out the pieces for her daughter's entire class to make 'Spider Hats' with. The one who tries really hard to make her guests feel welcome, and buys their favorite breakfast items and makes sure their sheets and towels are fresh and taken care of. The one who makes meals and does dishes for her family most every night of the week. The one who folds clothes and reads bedtimes stories and talks about what happened at school. The one who tries to make date night a priority for she and her husband. Who makes time to work out so I'll still be the wife someone wants to be seen with. The one who gets a big middle finger in the form of an anonymous pamphlet in the mail. How's that for a thank you?

Yes, I'm angry and extremely hurt (and curious as to how a true alcoholic would be able to pull together all the things that I have to do on a regular day while trashed.) As my8 years clean housekeeping lady said as I headed out the door for 6 miles - 'alcoholics don't run'. She would know.

So I say this out loud to anonymous worried person. Find some balls. Find a voice. Be direct. If you have TRUE concerns for my husband or my family (albeit misdirected) find some character and address it head on like an respectable adult should do.

Tonight I'm going to enjoy a glass of wine with my husband and silently toast all my sisters in arms who work their arses off for their families - and enjoy a glass of wine at the end of that never ending work day. Cheers.

One Of Them Days

Gotta love a morning that starts off with sacrificing a pair of work out pants to catch the cat's puke so as not to christen the newly cleaned carpets. Work out pants that should have been working out at the 6:15AM core class. But weren't.

However - I have to shout out to the people who unknowingly make someone's day a little more fabulous. Case in point, as I was dropping off my car to get fixed at the body shop the receptionist asked if my hair was naturally curly. When I responded yes - she exlaimed "It's gorgeous!". Well thank you! What a way to start the day! I decided right then and there I'm going to be more conscious of saying the nice things I think. Emphasis on nice.

But I just have to make a note that when you encounter a company that makes your life easy - it is so fantastic! Collision Clinic here in my homstead checked me in - had the Enterprise rental car person WAITING to get me into the rental car that was on site. I was in and out in less than 15 minutes. It was a dream! I almost felt like when your husband comes homes with flowers and it's not an anniversary. Suspicious yet happy. I'm going to start keeping a list of fabulous companies like that. Oh wait Yelp does that. Well anyway -Collision Clinic you rock!

Offspring Offerings

Funny stuff from the kid front

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Me mumbling to myself as I throw the cat off the counter "Cats do NOT belong on the counter!"

Riley overhearing: "Or adults either. Kids are okay on the counter when they get hurt or something though."


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"Kate! You broke my feelings! You broke them and I am very sad."

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At the dinner table: "Watch, I can do the robot!" followed by a demonstration. I asked where she learned it - from her PE teacher? "No! From Choo Choo Soul"

Nostalgia Doesn't Always Fit

Nostalgia
The parentals cleaned out their storage unit - so that means I got a few boxes of 'treasures'. One of which contained my cheerleading uniforms from high school. In a fit of nostalgia and I'll admit, curiosity.. I thought for a moment 'I can wear my cheerleading uniform for my Halloween costume!'. Note to self: That was 20 years ago, pre children and you were a late bloomer. So the net result is that I will likely be running a tad harder today during my work out. And I still need a Halloween costume.


Savvy Shopper Alert
I've long known this, but it still makes me happy to buy my favorite undies (Hanky Panky) at Nordstrom Rack for half the price. Ahhh...

Happy Wednesday All!

WAHM: Job Description

As I'm nearing the one year mark of embarking on the job change - from full time in the office to a Work At Home Mom (gulp) I can't help but some days to wonder what the heck I signed up for. (Of course usually precipitated or followed by a fabulous day with my kids where I remember why I did this..) But today is not one of those days.

School has started for my youngest - and she's loving it. 1st Grade starts next week for the oldest - and I'll be loving it.

Today is the kind of day that I think Mom's should get bonus checks for. Oh wait.. we don't get paid.

7:45A - Email babysitter again to see if she can stay LONGER next week when I'm out of town, so that husband can go to soccer game. Confirm with two separate parents that they can pick up my kids from school.
8:15A - 3 y.o to pre school
8:20 - Run back to house to grab bike for 6 y.o. (so 3 y.o. didn't see it and wonder what fun we were having without her..)
9:00A - Meet friend for walk around Greenlake (yes, this IS fun..)
10:00A - Find snack for 6 y.o.
10:40 - Run to grade school to volunteer (and be super grateful for awesome friend who is at playground and offers to keep eye on 6 y.o.) (Check work email, pretend am always available at home office.)
11:40 - Find Jiffy Lube to get car's oil changed, so stupid get oil light will go away. (Check work email while at Jiffy Lube.) Thank Jiffy Lube worker for inferring I'm still in college. He knows you don't tip oil changes, right?
12:20P - Get lunch for 6.y.o. and hungry Mom
1:00P - Mow lawn so neighbors don't leave angry anonymous letters on our door. And because I am forcing my husband to go to in laws for the weekend and will not have time to mow said lawn. Feel sorry for self that have to mow lawn, but alternately grateful that I am getting some sort of work out since I pushed snooze on the alarm for spin class...
2:00P - Write blog, change laundry, find soccer shorts for 6 y.o., pack for weekend, figure out why house smells like cat poop
2:45P - Take Husbands laundry to dry cleaner
3:00P - Pick up 3 y.o.
3:20P - Clean house, sew pillow case for 3 y.o., feed children, find where cat is hiding (return work phone calls hopefully with very little background noise..)
4:45P - Take cat with gimpy paw to vet, pick up cat food
6:00P - Take 6.o. to soccer practice, and remember to bring PTA papers to hand off to Mom who lives in neighborhood
7:00P - Pick up enough pizza (and wine) for Pizza Friday with husband's brother and family
8:00P - Fight with children for an hour until they run out of excuses not to go to bed, and/or pass out
9:00P - Drink significant amounts of wine while trying to catch up on work emails and due dates, make large list of things must remember to do before leaving house at 8AM.

This will be the day my husband DOESN'T ask me what I did all day..

Gotta love it!

Arrrghhh Matey

I do a lot of running and so as to have goals and actually go out and do the running, I sign up for organized runs. And clearly, I did NOT get my fill of costumes and dressing up in high school drama. No, I force my running partner to wear whatever zany outfit I've thought up for all of our themed runs. I will say however, this zest for costumes netted us a $50 prize on the Urban Dare. Oh yes, our "Mama Said Knock You Out" wife beaters and black eyes were the bomb. So there.

So Dani and I are going to do the Torchlight Run on Saturday. Which of course means Pirate outfits. AND we did buy pirate hats when we were on our Spring vacation get away in Cannon Beach... so it's a natural. Having just finished the fancy bustiers or mid section thingys that pirate wenches wear - I was testing it out. Along with my handily scissored $4 t shirt that also looks all pirate wench like.

And then the pizza man knocked on the door.

As I scrambled to take off the pirate hat and pull off the striped tights that I was considering hacking up to look like pant things - I was trying to make it to the door in a timely manner.

As I was signing the slip and trying to man handle the baby cat who was escaping - I realized I was NOT wearing a sports bra, but instead a regular shiny silver one and it was definitely hanging out of my shirt all wench like.

And of course this isn't the night that I get the cool chatty driver with the big earrings in his ears who would laugh at my hi jinks - I get the probably out of work accountant. I don't even want to know what he was thinking I was up to. I'm sure he probably starting praying for me before he even pulled out of the driveway.

Arghh.

Oh No! Kato!

I'm kind of sensing a theme to my blog...a lot of cat stories and children stories and rants about stupid people. Hmm.. perhaps I should try to diversify. Not just yet though.

So the house down the street is being forclosed. The family is selling their things and preparing to move out. And they have a cat. He is SUPER sweet. Has been since day one. Kato the cat. He roams the neighborhood, is clean and friendly and I think he's great. In talking with my in the know neighbor today I found out - the family is leaving WITHOUT the cat. They're just going to pack up and drive away. Like poor Mittens in Bolt. It's heinous. However - I don't know what to do about it! To me it's morally reprehensible to leave this animal that you rescued, or purchased or agreed to take home and feed and love.

The recently widowed woman next door to the family has been feeding Kato and enjoying his company. I think she even took him to the vet for some reason or another - but apparently does not want him as 'her cat'.

I'm sure he would be fed in the neighborhood, but I'm envisioning cold and snowy, wet nights with poor Kato cowering in a storm drain or being chased by racoons. No one to give him pets and let him sleep on their bed.

I can't volunteer for this job because we just got another cat. And if it were okay to just abandon a cat - Dexter is first up. But you don't see me with my bloodied legs and puncture wounded arms leaving my ornery cat (who's vet folder is 'RED' tagged as dangerous) on the street corner to fend for himself. No - I let him sleep next to me and I buy him expensive food because the vet said he needs it and I took on the responsiblity of him as my pet.

So I'm fired up! I'm going to see if I contribute to a cat vet/food fund if the neighbor would be willing to take him on. I've already thought up grand plans to build a cat house with insulated walls and a heat lamp for cold and wet winters that she can keep in her car port......

KATO!

Grocery Store With Children: My Kryptonite

I've found it. Having just returned from what was supposed to be a 'quick' run to the grocery store with my two girls - I am once again vowing to NEVER go assisted to the grocery store again. Ever.

Seriously. My two often well behaved children somehow just push my buttons the minute we hit a store. I would not typically take them with me, but when there is nothing to make a decent meal in the house and I've been stressed out cramming to get work done and know that I have to make lunches and be out the door in the AM - it calls for desperate measures.

After the discussions and negotiations as to who will sit or ride where, why children can't hang off the cart on one side as we roll down the aisle (sideswiping elderly people making our way past the bread is NOT okay..) there's always the urgent 'I'm going to have an accident' cry so that you have to high tail your cart back to the grimy bathroom and park it catty wampus hoping no one will think you've abandoned it. And the whining. I can't take it.

I seriously turn into that super mean Mom who finds fault with every move my child makes. After watching the stepping on of a box of crackers while we wait (as usual) at the deli I resort to the angry arm pull that could easily have someone calling for a CPS investigation. Along with that I pull out the angry whispery voice, vowing no cartoons or any sort of fun when we return home.

I'm frustrated and short tempered and just mean all the way around. I have to say THANK YOU to the store manager (who for the second time) sees my frustration and whisks my cart into a closed lane and checks me out in record time. I know she has kids and I am so so grateful to her for those Mom moves.

So I think I'll have to resort to my co worker's claim of preferring to go shopping at midnight than with children. And if it means that dinner consists of garbanzo beans and some kind conglomeration of pastas left in the cupboard. So be it.

10-4 Little Buddy

My 6 year old has a great little friend who we found out when she started school - lives just down the hill from us. Sadly not like "walk down the path" down the hill, more like - bring your machete and battle rabid raccoons and 15 foot black berry bushes while traversing a steep incline, down the hill. But we're working on a solution.

So S - as I'll call her- had a birthday this week and Jeff thought up the fun idea of giving her half of a set of walkie talkies. I thought it was a fantastic and fun idea for 6 year olds and we made it happen.

Yesterday as I was feverishly working I kept hearing something from the play room - thinking it was that creepy puzzle that makes noises at random times, I finally got up to investigate. Oh no - it was S demanding to know where Kate was via the new walkie talkie.

Now from most little kids I can't tolerate bossiness but this little bit cracks me up. She's goofy, and huggy and ridiculously cute and her family and parents are probably some of the nicest people I've ever met.

So yes, I spent a good 5-10 minutes on a walkie talkie with a just turned 6 year old who was demanding to know when my daughter would be home and could I make it happen sooner.

And it's apparent that the telling time portion of kindergarten was not mastered before school was out, because even though I said 2:30 - there were multiple inquiries prior to that time. And I answered every one.

Over and Out Sister!

High Maintinence - Elevated to Code Red

If you know me, you know I'm a strawberry blondish frecklish mess. Of course that didn't stop me from oh say...1988-1997 -laying many a day on my fun island in the middle of the lake wearing baby oil and Sun In. (Of course all while listening to mixed tapes on my 'boom box'). And I may have hit a tanning bed or two while in my twenties (hello, there was one at my Ad Agency!)

So now as my 37th Birthday is rapidly approaching (gasp? what?!) I'm obsessed with trying to look young, stay young, prevent wrinkles and sags and what have you. I headed to the Dermatologist for my yearly "freckle check". Eegads. I know I have sun damage - and I wear SPF makeup (Laura Mercier -) but I do admit to being slow to put on the sunblock on a sunny day.. hoping for a little 'color' first. Um yeah. No more.

So she gave me the once over, said the thing I was worried about was nothing, but that she needed to freeze the two pre cancerous areas on my chest and face?! And is immediately holding some big spritzer of liquid nitrogen or whatever it is that they use to do that. Gulp! I could barely stammer that I had a social gathering to attend that night, before I was frozen and zinged and dazedly walked out with instructions to begin wearing hats, mineral sun block and come back every six months for checks.

So now my morning routine is getting WORSE as I get older.. not easier. I have to add 10 minutes for all the stupid lotions and liquids I have to put on to maintain any prayer of semi presentable bod.

When you get out of the shower (after having to do all those ministrations)- it's just the beginning; Deoderant (of course the uber strong enough for sweaty baboons kind), self tanning lotion for the legs (currently enjoying Jergens?! and it doesn't make me stink like fake tanner!) , toner for the face, Tend Skin for the bikini region (because why would you use anything else?), moisturizer for the face, SkinCeuticals (actually like this stuff) for the face, DIFFERENT sun block (that smells good and is like lotion) for the arms and shoulders and that's all before trying to pick out an outfit and put on make up - forget having time for decent hair!

How the heck do strippers do this? I mean this is just for one Mom - who's biggest social engagement of the day might mean a glass of wine with other Mom friends that evening. Or running into someone you know at the grocery store. All of this is completely lost on a husband - who has no clue or appreciation for this zaniness. And sadly, now that my mineral sunblock means NO color of any kind - I'm heading up pronto to get the latest sun less tanning lotion (Lancome Flash Bronzer-have seen rave reviews - will report back.) for my face and chest.. I'm thinking that the kids are old enough to learn to make breakfast for themselves... that will buy me a few more minutes? Right?

"WWMSD" - A Mother's Day Dilemma

So instead of WWJD - which if you know me I think is absolutely ridiculous (there goes 2 of my 5 readers..) What Would Martha Stewart Do is what went through the head of my 'friend' today.

The scene: Mother's Day. Loving Mother had been busy taking small children to swim lessons and scrubbing the scum off the deck etc etc.. and had left a very small window of time to prepare a pasta salad for a 3:30 Mother's Day BBQ.

As this fabulous Mother was making lunch for her family - at the same time boiling pasta noodles so they would cool in time to make pasta salad, disaster struck.

The fabulous big red bowl (with a lid!) that held cooling pasta in the fridge.... jumped OUT of the fridge when the door was opened. Half of the pasta noodles hit floor. Oh no!!! There is no time in the schedule for this!! No no no! And the thought went through my 'friend's' head. Hmm.. floor was just cleaned. Pasta noodles can be thoroughly washed... WWMSD WWMSD WWMSD - What would Martha Stewart Do? I'm sure she would have thought ahead and made extra. Damn her. And if you watch Gordon Ramsey you know he'd rip you a new one if you picked ANYTHING off the floor, and rightly so. But those kitchens on TV are disgusting! And yes, this 'friend' of mine had taken many a food handler's permit classes - she knew the 'RIGHT' answer.. but what was the right answer for a frazzled Mom on Mother's Day who only had a short amount of time to produce a fabulous dish for a BBQ?

You my readers were not at this BBQ, so I can tell you this. She scooped them off the floor - almost within the '5 second' window.. and washed the heck out of them. And went thru them individually to make sure they were not truly polluted. And then she made a fabulous pasta salad. And took it to a BBQ. And fed it to her children, friends and total strangers. (and she ate some herself.) And she's totally okay with this. Right answer? Wrong answer? What have you done within the 'grey area' of appropriateness? You know she's not alone...

Oh Noooo!!!! Uh Oh Moments for a 'Shoe Girl'

I love shoes. I love clothes. I love shopping. Yeah, yeah, I love my family and kids and sunsets and all that stuff to. But I really love shoes. Oh and purses, but this about shoes.

I've been on the hunt for a neutral wedge for summer.I toyed with the clog trend, but eh.. don't think that's going to do my legs any favors. I had a fantastic pair of Michael Kors I got two summers ago and it's time to retire them. Sadly. I love them. But if the adage is true that you can judge a girl by her shoe, then wearing these I am a schleppy, unkempt, banged up type of girl and I'm not okay with that.

I don't know 'exactly' what I'm looking for - but I know I'll 'feel it'. So today I swung by Nordstrom Rack for a quick drive by. There were some contenders and I was walking around doing the one shoe try on - when it hit. That moment. When I tried on a shoe and it was COMFORTABLE and I was excited by that. And I put back the sassy pump in my hand. And I envisioned myself grocery shopping in the comfy shoe. Oh crap! I was afraid this would happen with my career change - and I swore it wouldn't.

I almost texted a picture of the shoes in question - to my fashionista former co worker who is 20something. I needed a 2nd opinion - but was afraid to hear the answer.

So I am now the owner of a pair of shoes that I chose for comfort before fashion. And I'm sad about that. But I'm also am able volunteer for a Kindergarten field trip at the zoo - and chase after rouge 6 year olds without breaking my neck or having to break into my stash of mole skin.

So clearly, my next purchase will be some ridiculous pair of shoes just to prove that I am not fulfilling any dreaded sterotypes....

Random Sightings and Other Blatherings

First off - I just have to say that nothing makes a girl feel like a million bucks like a fabulous eyebrow wax. Seriously. I had some overgrowth going on and I finally got in to see my favorite esthetician at The Wax Bar. It might also be because I finally did my hair, as opposed to sticking 18 bobby pins in my curly mess and pretending that it's boho chic.

On a separate side note - I've had lots of internal conversations and feel the need to share - of course along with some of the most bizarre sightings:

- Observation; this new working remotely thing can be great and also sometimes super annoying. Idea of drinking latte while enjoying the hum of the local coffee shop - not always as fun as one would think. I.e. I'm going to say that I prefer my office co workers and their idiosyncrasies vs the super annoying lady who thinks she owns the coffee shop. With her pink cell phone holder and bad lipstick..

-Self Awareness of the Week; I do not have road rage as compared to COSTCO rage. I seriously considered running OVER some bia on the way out of the store. And in the meat aisle (Emily - I found the Turkey thanks!) And did the lady who rammed my arse with her cart while we were waiting in line apologize? NO! Really is this stress to my state of inner peace worth it for the big box of Stretch Island Fruit Leather? It might be.


Bizarre Sightings of the week:
- Woman smoking a cigarette in front of PCC. (Really?)

- Grampa Man lighting up a cigarette in the parking lot of my daughter's grade school. While school is in session. (Is that allowed?I'm thinking it's part of the no handguns, no knives sign..)

-My neighbor in her bathrobe getting the paper. Okay, so that's not so bizarre, but it got me thinking, do alot of people still wear robes?

Am I the only one with insane dialogue going on all the time?

Have a great week everyone...

The Secret Lives of Seniors

And by Seniors - I don't mean last year of high school. Today my schedule was such that I needed to borrow the showers at my health club after meeting my partner for a run. Did you know there's a WHOLE other world out there at 11AM on a Thursday!?

Well I do now. I felt like an anthropologist, or as though I were visiting a foreign country or something of the sort. I apparently timed it just right to hit the locker rooms at the end of Silver Sneakers and right before Senior Splash. First of all - I have to say hats off to these 70+ something gals who are at the gym getting their move on. On the other hand I was not mentally prepared to contemplate my own body's future 30+ years down the road as you are forced to do in such circumstances. Eeek.

Clearly I was an interloper and had set up my gym bag shop in someone's regular Thursday spot. That didn't stop her from just bulldozing over me to get to her personal full time locker. But the best part was eavesdropping on the conversations.

We forget in our digital, fast paced, Black Berry, I pod, Utube, Iphone world that there are generations of folks out there who have no clue about this stuff. These particular ladies were discussing some upcoming travel to their timeshare (of course).

Apparently there was some drama about needing important email confirmation. (Dial up I'm sure..) At the end of the story that included her making lots of phone calls but being routed back to accessing things online - the magical email appeared and she and her husband danced around theh room at the joy of it's arrival. And they really did! It wasn't a euphamism!

Her one upper friend says, 'I don't have to deal with all that email stuff, my children take care of all my travel arrangements for me'. Touche. To which the story teller replied that 'oh yes, my kids do too, just in this instance......'.

I got tips on a housecleaning service while putting makeup on in the mirror and stared at the gaggles of men and women gathered in the lobby seating kibitzing about the week. THIS is what the 'Club' in fitness club really means I guess! And here I thought all the Grammas and Grampas were just out cruising under the speed limit when I was trying to get somewhere in the middle of the day!

BFF - Even from Another State and Especially During An Emergency

I love my BFF. I really do. Because when it comes down to it - she is always there in those tight spots, or those freak out moments of true emergency and of course for the regular ones of self doubt.

I took the girls to Cannon Beach for Spring Break. We went with my friend and her girls. First night there - literally two hours after arriving - my daughter split her chin open at the playground. It was 99% my fault - but that is beside the point, as it doesn't unsplit the chin.

I saw right from the moment of impact (which has constantly been replaying in my head since Wed.) that we would need stitches. I told my friend to run back to the house to get the car. (Which she did with all THREE of the remaining kids in tow!)

Some SUPER great strangers - a Mom and Grandma who were also at the park - offered up their emergency kit - and a jacket to keep little Miss Riley Bear warm as she had gone into shock a bit and complained that she was cold. (Side note however - my daughter ROCKS. She did NOT freak out - barely cried - was a huge champ and I love her to bits.)

So after my friend raced around and arrived with the car - we got everyone buckled in - left the nice strangers to deal with our bloodied wipes and took off for the hospital in the neighboring town 7 miles away. All the while I had been frantically calling my husband - hoping he could give me the actual ADDRESS for the hospital. I called him while kneeling in the bark at the park multiple, multiple times. I tried the house, I stalked the cell phone, where the heck is this self proclaimed home body when I need him?

Plan B. From the car all shaky and ramped up, holding the split of my daughter's chin together with one hand - I dialed the V on my speed dial with the other. My BFF picked up - and as best friends do - was calm, understood IMMEDIATELY from the tone of my voice what was going on - got me the address, told me it would be alright and that she loved me and we hung up. Wham Bam - I love you man. Seriously. I know we don't say it enough in the day to day - but I am so grateful for such a great friend. Even though we don't get enough time together - I would hope that she knows she can call me in the same situation.

Oh and I realized the next day - I had accidentally 'stolen' the windbreaker from the nice strangers?!! I felt horrible! I still feel horrible! I went back to the park, I looked for them everytime we were in town... to no avail... I'll have to find a way to pay it forward I guess?

Mommy - Macgyver Style

It was a beautiful day today - so after a gross day stuck inside hashing out negotiations on the phone with folks in different time zones, I was HAPPY to get out and enjoy the sunshine!

As the afternoon unfolded though, I just had to inwardly comment (and now outwardly for your entertainment) on all the stuff that Mom's have to be ready to handle.

- "Picnic Dinner" In theory, great fun a change of pace on such a nice day. We swing down to Ivars for some fish sticks to go and a nice grilled salmon salad for Mommy. Get to the park, no forks, no napkins. So Mommy ate her salad with a toy wooden spoon from the play room that was on the floor of the car and thank goodness for the Costco size wipes to stand in as napkins. (BTW I will still be buying these when I no longer have kids in the house.. seriously.) I did however consider using the mini fake leatherman in my emergency kit. Added Bonus: (The judgy stares of other Mothers as my kids ate their french fries was free.)

- "I have to poop" Yeah, kids always have to go to the bathroom right after you've left home or someplace with a decent bathroom. We'd just tucked into our picnic dinner, so leaving wasn't an option. And my public bathroom shy 3 year old wouldn't be able to stand on the toilet seat of the San O Can to execute (as it was quite full and not sure sitting was an option because of it... yes..double ewww..) So MacGyver Mommy whips out the 'emergency potty'! The little foldup seat with garbage sacks with piddle pads in them that you throw away after use. So I had to walk from the car past two conversing Dad's trying hide the fact I was carrying my 3 year olds poop in a bag. Body positioning is key in this instance. This is all of course while keeping a third eye on my 6 year old so she wouldn't be stolen by strangers while waiting at the picnic table for us.

- "Bleeding Wound" This one is not mine, but did happen while I was at the park for this picnic extravaganza. Mom with 3 kids somehow wounded her finger while pushing 2 of her kids in swings. It was bleeding a fair amount - and she finally had to whip off the cute scarf she was wearing to staunch the blood flow - of course all the while instructing her youngest on how to pump her legs for maximum swing height. She of course laughed off my offer a bandaid (from my emergency kit that will have forks in it tomorrow..) while the whole time I was wondering if she had OxiClean at her house.

There's so many funny stories of things we've had to do - socks as kleenex etc...Tell me yours! Just don't tell me you're the one feeding a banana to your kid in the grocery store before you pay for it- because I'll get all indignant. (Until I realize it's PCC and kids get free fruit...)

Musings from a Grade School Talent Show

My first year as a parent of grade schooler has brought all kinds of new experiences. Last week was my first 'talent show'. The kindergarteners were not invited to particpate, and I totally get why - no problems here. I thought I'd get away with not going to this event this year, until MY grade schooler begged me to go while we were sitting at the dinner table. I'm a sucker - never wanting to miss anything that might be remotely social and so I agreed.

First off I have to preface this entire blog entry with the acknowledgement that it takes ALOT of guts to get up in front of your peers, their parents, friends, grandparents, etc.. and perform. Much less sing a solo etc.. I was impressed at the range of kids who did this. From 1st Graders to 6th Graders. However, I have some questions.

-If your kid chooses to do a trumpet solo, but hasn't quite mastered the trumpet - do you stand behind them and say 'go for it!' or do you suggest that maybe they try for something else? And when it feels as though said trumpet solo is going on for EVER and is uncomfortable - is the parent proud? Or did they feel like I did - and had to fidget and look away?

-Is Lady Gaga appropriate for 5th Graders? I consider myself far from a prude and not super conservative, but I felt like Mrs. Olsen from Little House on the Prarie muttering 'well I never!' to myself multiple times throught the evening. What are those children wearing? Do they know what the song means? If I'm a parent, am I okay with that? I'm NOT okay with that - and you KNOW that a parent helped them put together those outfits. Granted the moves were approriate, no hip thrusts etc.. but hello! It's Lady Gaga - and she's drunk and lost her keys and her phone......

-Chivalry is not dead. All kinds of parents and people are at these events - and in my neighborhood we're lucky to have a diverse community. I watched a gentleman in front of me, jump out of his chair and pull it up for a woman with a cane who came in late. That was awesome. And sadly is something we don't have enough of. It made my day.

-Chubby little girls who will be super cool when they're 24. As an adult when you watch all these kids act and interact, it's pretty clear who's 'popular' and who isn't so much maybe. There was the young girl who stood up there in her glasses and jeans and shirt and it looked like I might have to get all fidgety and look away, and then she sang. And she was great! With a cool voice and a shy sense of self and you could look into the future and see how happy she'll be when she is out of high school...

- Oh and lastly - huge 'shout out' to the 5th or 6th grade kid who did a very awesome dance - all by himself. In traditional Indian attire to a very cool beat. The Dad sitting next to me and I both had to give each other the 'wow -that's great -eyes'. To be a fly on the wall at his house. Does he have a Mom and Aunts and Grandmas or maybe a Dad who taught him all those great moves? Did he practice all the time? It made me think of the tune my 3 y.o. has been singing mercilessly while shaking her tush in my face, "I like to move it, move it.."

Never Been Accused of Being Dainty

Why is it when you try to be healthy and work on achieving a more svelte figure, that your body is not on board. Seriously.

My good friend and I are on a 6 week quest of better eating and increased exercise. Notice, I'm not referencing some crazy diet that I know I couldn't continue for 6 weeks. Because truthfully, come Friday night(and Saturday and sometimes Sunday)- do NOT stand between me and a big glass of red vino. I don't know many eating programs that welcome the extra empty calories of a glass of wine. But this is real life and wine is part of my real life. And it makes Momma happy.

But this isn't about wine. Yesterday when my 10A snack time rolled around and I was ravenous because I hadn't had enough protein at breakfast time.. like a good and healthy individual, I busted out the bag of baby carrots and some hummus. Healthy for you - veggie serving, low carb etc.. Ummm.. yeah.. why then does your body rebel to the copious amounts of inhaled hummus and retaliate with the production of a lethal poisonous substance. Seriously! Good thing I didn't have to be around people yesterday. I'm still not sure the cat has a pulse, but serves him right for invading my space. But this is what we get when we bypass the chips and opt for something better? It's not just hummus. No offense to Kashi, but forget Kashi. I might as well be 6 months pregnant for what that whole grain goodness does to my body. I thought I was dying the first time I tried it the oatmeal -but an unofficial poll confirms I am not alone (and yes you healthy freak o's I DO drink a ton of water!). As a side note, how do these actresses who claim they only eat humongo amounts of veggies with their small piece of grilled chicken not encounter these same kinds of issues??

In this quest for a more natural lifestyle (let's face it - as natural as I can be.... which is much less than the average REI member) I also wanted to try a more natural deodorant. I am fearful that the aluminum, or whichever not good for you ingredient is in clinical strength deodorant, is for sure at toxic levels in my body. Because I am disgusting. Ask my husband. I am not a demure and delicate flower. I sweat. I stink. I am also good at household repairs, but that is for another article. Note to self. Natural deodorant is just that. NOT an antiperspirant. Which I knew...but was hoping for anyway. And tea tree oil, or magic rock crystal etc.. DO NOT SMELL GOOD when mixed with a hot armpit. I'm not even talking about when you've done a good work out. More like I'm glad I didn't pay more than $7 for this white t shirt because it is now disgusting and it's a regular Monday kind of thing. I knew that the small travel size of natural deodorant that I picked up at PCC would not do it for me. But I keep trying.

So I've been working out alot and eating lots of veggies and less carbs and I now have a bloated belly and the ability bomb a small village at will - combined with the aroma of sweaty tea tree. This is NOT working out for me.

Mmmmmm..... Food.

I like to pretend that I'm a pretty good cook. I'm not Worst Cooks In America worthy, but there's lots of my attempts that result in a necessary snack later in the evening.

My dear Aunt is a bit of a foodie with a much more adventurous palate than I have. For Christmas she gave me The Splendid Table's How To Eat Supper. I have to rave!! Not only does it have great recipes (albeit some of them are a little too fancy pants for my family of 4 with two small children) but the BEST part are the snippets of info! Currently I am IN LOVE with pearl barley. They tell you to treat it like pasta - and boil the heck out of it with some water and chicken stock for 25 minutes. Of course their recipe for cheater chicken stock is more highbrow than my two scoops of instant bullion method, but I'm totally okay with that when it's 5:30 and I'm just firing up dinner. And who knew barley was so yummy and nutty and HEALTHY. And that my kids would eat it!

I've referenced the book How To Get Your Kids To Eat, But Not Too Much, before..but I have to admit last night the approach (which included yummy barley from above) actually worked. I'd say about once a month it works well. The overall idea is to provide your kids with healthy choices on the table, including one thing they WILL eat, like a slice of whole wheat bread or something. What they eat, is what they eat. You don't haggle, negotiate or force certain number of bites. You model good eating (oh and I guess I should take my elbows off the table too..) and call it a day. Last night my kids ate barley, broccoli, green beans, fish and grapes! No really, I'm pretty sure they were my kids... I'm sure those fabulous Mothers out there will scoff and say that's a regular evening at their house. Well good on you. At my house it's not, so I was loving it. Thank you Splendid Table! You think they'll go for Edamame and Smoked Tofu Succotash? Kidding!

Always a "Mom"

I imagine being a Mom out in the world of kids is like how Doctors on airplanes feel in emergency situations. You can't escape your instinct or your training.

Today for instance. As I dropped my daughter at Kindergarten, we walked with one of her classmates. Who had a huge snot oozing out of her nose. But clearly, she was not bothered by the feeling of it sliding down her face. I myself had to swallow to keep down my egg sandwich. That was intensified 10 fold while as I waited with them until the morning aid made her rounds, I see this child playing with snot strands and them sticking them in her mouth. I kind of just threw up a little while writing that. Your own kid's snot is one thing (and something that's still not my favorite) but another childs? Eeeww!! I had to take action - grabbed a napkin out of my daughter's backpack and wiped the child's nose. Seriously. I'm a Mom. I couldn't help it. Of course then I have this disgusting napkin in my possession and cannot find a garbage can.. but it was my duty.

Just as it's my instinctual duty to walk on the outside of the sidewalk on our night walks with my other Mom friend because I have the reflective jacket. Or do to the arm seat belt/train crossing barrier when anyone begins to cross a road and I think a car is not paying attention. Same as it is when you hold a baby and fall into that hip bounce thing. And I will even admit, the same as it is when you give evil death glare stare down to the ill behaving 7 year old stranger at the playground. Or when you quickly offer up the airline blanket (that for the record I never touch with a 10 foot pole) to the Mom with child who is clearly going to hoark while desperately waiting for the bathroom.

You can't escape the instinct.

A Few of My Favorite Things: Installment II (and a not so favorite thing.)

So first off I have this question - how many times per day is it neccessary for a cat to freaking lick itself?! Seriously - it's driving me crazy that annoying slurp lick thing. Jeez!

Now that's off my chest.

It's time again to share a few of my favorite finds and as is par for my blog, the front runner pertains to hair..

Either my hairdresser or Nick Arojo on "What Not To Wear" told me that I should use a volumizing mousse to help give some volume to the crown area. So I finally decided to pick some up - and as I stood in the aisle of my local drugstore, I went by the coolest looking one that wasn't $8,000 dollars and holy Farrah Faucet it's fabulous! Big Sexy Hair Spray Mousse! It's awesome! It sprays like a hairspray and then turns to mousse - super cool. AND then it works! Really well! I felt like that woman I see at my daughter's school who always has Victoria Secret hair - slight mussed, yet perfect curls... (one day I will get the balls to ask her..)

My new favorite treat. They're not actually new, but I just found them and am loving them... Kashi Dark Chocolate Cherry Chewy Granola Bars. They have 5g of protein (which is VERY hard to find in a yummy treat like granola bar) and 4g of fiber (good for making you feel full AND keeping things running right.) I love to have one of these bad boys in the afternoon when I feel like I need something sweet, but at 120 calories, much better than stuffing my face with Valentine's cookies or something. I say bravo. Oh yes and they don't have any of that hard to pronounce garbage in them. Add feeling healthfully righteous and you can't go wrong.

And lastly I'm loving Laura Mercier's Metallic Creme Eye Color I had gotten a little tube as a sample (gold) and it has lasted for FOREVER. Not only does it make my everyday makeup job look presentable, I'm able to put on liner without having to redo 8 times. It's creamy and forgiving and super fast and easy... I had to get the Burnished Copper so I could mix it up a bit. Loving it!

You have something you're loving? Do share!

Dogs, Kids and Life Lessons

So this isn't so much a funny post, in that I have to keep wiping away the tears to write it.

I really wanted a dog. My oldest daughter did too - the youngest was enthusiastic. My husband, not so enthusiastic, but said if I really wanted it and would do the work, then he would go along with the plan.

Do you know how hard it is to get a dog from a rescue group? You have to practically donate an organ, and they don't want it going to homes with kids under 7.

I was bugged by the kids under 7 thing. "They don't know my family, they don't know my kids" etc.. is what I lamented to my BFF. So after a little white lie, we were approved for a puppy. A lab mix. I bought all the stuff, a crate, food, toys, bowls, pre paid for the spay etc... And I drove over the pass to meet the woman fostering the pups - to pick mine out. I picked the pretty girl, we named her Trixie.

She cried alot the first few nights, because clearly she was missing her brothers and sisters. I laid on the floor in front of her kennel the first night, and slept there, and she quieted down. I got up multiple times in the night to take her outside to go to the bathroom. Then I got up multiple times with my 3 y.o. who was having bad dreams or something. And we put all the stuff up off the ground that puppies would like to chew. I played with her, and played with her some more. I allocated 15 minutes before every departure from the house so she could go out and go to the bathroom. Wow, I thought I knew what I was getting into.

My 3 y.o. cried anytime the puppy came near her, she hid out in the play room. My 5yo did pretty well helping, but then would shriek and cry if the dog got ahold of her sleeve or leg or did anything remotely puppy play like. My husband was helpful ish the first 2 days, but clearly was upholding his decision of 'it's your choice, it's your responsibility'. Until I was sobbing and exhausted.

So we had to give Trixie back to the rescue group, who have a fabulous family lined up for her. I sobbed and cried all the way to drop her off and hysterically as I put her in the arms of the rescue founder. I'm surprised I didn't have a car accident on the way home because it's very difficult to see the road through tears and snot.

I really really really hate it - when you make a decision that you think will be great for your family and ends up being rotten for everyone involved. Including the innocent puppy who now gets to adjust to another home. All because of me and my choice. Ouch. (FYI - I would NEVER give up a dog 2years into a relationship etc.. but knowing there was a list of families who wanted those pups made it feel like the right thing to do.)

So I've woken up the past few days feeling sick and gross and sad and missing the pretty sweet little girl, but I know it was the right decision overall. In a reversal of roles, I have cried multiple times to my brother on the phone - like you're a kid and can't stop that stuttering, sobbing crying. He said that I will have the chance (when my kids are of the 'legal' dog adoption age) to make a difference in another dog's life. An older dog who might not get one otherwise. Most definitely. But ahh.. Trixie girl, I miss ya.

Old Dog, New Tricks

I've always been of the subconcious mind set that the way we are, our habits, or general personalities, are what they are. If a man beats his girlfriend, he's not going to change his ways... that kind of thing. However, I keep finding myself recognizing changes to my own personal approach to everyday things.

I have a prime example this week. My M.O. has always been one of politeness and obligation. If someone knocks on your door and you're home, you answer the door. (I also have a hard time not answering the phone, even when the number looks like a telemarketer, much to my husband's annoyance.) Now that I'm working from my home office, I can see all the door knocker sales people, soul savers etc.. coming down the street before they even hit the porch. It's awkard. Especially if you can see them and they can see you as they walk past your window.

Yeah - I don't know when I turned into either a.) and arsehole or b.)totally uncaring of social protocol. But I have. These suckers have knocked on the door - and they can clearly see my daughter (home with a fever) lounging watching a movie and I didn't answer the door. I just didn't feel like it. I was busy doing work stuff and my hours to do such things are limited. So I didn't. Hah! I feel like I'm smoking during high school lunch at the Circle K (which I never ever did or wanted to - by the way Mom in case you're reading.) Or like I'm eating grapes in the grocery store produce section, before paying for them (well, I would NEVER do that - it's just wrong) but you get the gist.

And you know what? It's totally within my right not to answer my door! I don't know these people. I don't have time for their song and dance. We've got new windows and a roof and a guy who helps with the yard. I'm pretty sure I've already got my ticket booked on a handbasket to a hot place - so don't need that one either. I don't need anything from door knockers and I didn't answer the door!

But it feels GOOD and I don't care! Next I'm going to start vaccuming nude or something!

I Do NOT Speak MonosyllabicGruntus

If Italian is the language of lovers, small child MonosyllabicGruntus is the language of seriously frustrated, most likely harpy Mothers. Seriously. Is it just our family? Please tell me that I'm not alone in this.

While I am quite clear on the fact that my 5 y.o. and I do not have the same communication style, nothing puts me from everything is hunky dory to fire level red faster than the grunts.

Me (Happy Upbeat Voice): "Okay! Everyone find their shoes, it's time to go to school!" "Kate where are your socks?"

Kate: "hmphff" (then disappears - sobbing to be heard from the living room - then reappears still without socks.)

Me (trying to be positive): Hi - okay, socks? Please go get them.

Kate: "mmgh" Again with the running and sobbing.

WHAT IS THE MATTER!! Seriously - there is nothing that has happened between teeth brushing and putting on socks and shoes that I can tell would have been an affront to her person. Clearly she is upset. I don't know why and I'm sure as heck not going to ask.... if she's just going to grunt. Even if I did ask, it would just get a grunt. I can't take it!

I think next up is to find a Psych class for dealing with small children, because clearly whatever I learned in Psych 101 - 15 ahem.. or so years ago did not stick.

I'm all ears - let's hear it. Suggestions anyone??

The Pitfalls of the Home Office

So I'm officially working from the 'home' office. Not even a little. More like ALOT! So much that I didn't even unload the dishwasher this morning - and realized tonight when I went upstairs that I hadn't been up there all day. Cool!

However - as I discovered today during my first 'high pressure' crank it out day, there ARE some downfalls.

a.) The IT guy is my husband. Via IM. From his office. (He's smart, but he's not really an IT guy btw.) And while at an official real office job, you're super duper nice to the IT guy because you KNOW that you'll need his help somewhere down the line - not so much for IT husband.

As I wrote in all capitals FORK THIS PRINTER! Or something close to that - angrily in my IM message box, I did feel a little bad about it. But I was frustrated and stressed, and I know that it would take alot of $$ and time to divorce me... Oh and I think he might love me a little, however there was no love in our terse phone conversation which began with him saying "I am trying to HELP you"..

b.)Having a cat as an assistant. Yeah - no good. He does not know discretion. I.e. If I am in the middle of a phone call or feverishly inputting important things - good assistants would make themselves useful or scarce. They do NOT jump into the middle of your business and stick their butt in your face and get their fur stuck to your lip gloss. Repeatedly. Plus it's very hard to 10 key or make coffee with cat paws.

c.) Snacking.I knew this would be trouble before making the leap.. but jeesh! I was starving today and wisely have rid the house of pretty much anything good that I might like. Oh, but how could I have forgotten chocolate granola bars for the kids!! I might need to get a nanny cam or something to keep me honest!

d.) Finding toys, drawings, pens without lids etc.. all over the place. I constantly shriek when the kids are home "This is Mommy's Office! Not a place for toys and playing!" But the lure of the zen sand garden is just too much I guess. No worries, zen sand garden will be raked clean in short order I'm sure. Thank goodness the carpet is sand colored.

Now I have to go find the cleaning crew... oh wait.....

Happy New Year and All That Reflective Stuff

I've been falling down on the job of posting - but today is the first day of 2010 and after reading everyone's reflective posts on Facebook - I was inspired to jump on.

There's the age old resolutions thing. I try not to do those, as I'm really only gung ho for about 2 weeks and then you're just a disappointment to yourself. I'm all about trying to keep things positive.

Instead I'm taking my BFF's approach today - to try and fend off the mindless chips and salsa grazing that will take place while I watch football: wearing my too tight jeans as punishment and reminder. Nothing curbs the urge to eat chips like catching the reflection of my muffin top in a window. Or having to pull my jeans up OVER the belly overhang to comfortably sit on the couch. As I write this I'm watching my 70 year old neighbor make her 4th lap around the neighborhood. In the rain. And wind. Oh man...

You know how everyone has 2 or 3 'big ideas' that they'd do if they had the time, money or expertise? I'm thinking a Biggest Loser/Betty Ford Camp would be a big winner. I'd sign up right now.

But seriously - here's to a new year, full of unexpected delights and I'm sure a few heartaches thrown in (because really, how can you fully enjoy the good stuff without knowing how the bad stuff feels.) Do something unexpected this year friends!

Cheers! Kimberly