Monday, July 13, 2009

Yoga: An Inner Dialouge With Humming Bee Finale

Prelude:
I like yoga. I hadn't tried a class until about a year ago because I'm not known for my ability to sit still or be quiet. But I actually really really enjoy it. I consider it my 'church'. However, I am still not able to 100% 'quiet my inner mind' - no matter how much I focus on my breathing.

Yoga: 12Noon - Inner Monologue

Substitute teacher. She looks cool. She's very tall. I wonder if I did yoga all the time if my body would look like that. "Well, minus the 6 inches she has on me, that definitely helps. I wonder if she eats meat. She's super nice and chatty. Can you comfortably wear glasses while teaching yoga? I wonder if those are natural curls or if she used a curling iron. If she used a curling iron, I really need to know how she did that. She referenced her niece while we were talking before class, I wonder if she has a boyfriend or wants to have kids, she seems like she'd make a great Mom. Hmm.....

Wow, she's a very clear and comfortable instructor. She didn't seem at all yoga-y in the beginning. Those glasses made her look like a book worm or a scientist. Do you think scientists like yoga or do they have a hard time letting go too?

Oh greeeaatt... a late arriver. Please don't try to... damn. Squeeze in RIGHT beside me, so now I won't be able to put my arms out. And she's wearing heavy perfume. Gross. I really hate people that aren't cognizant of other people's personal space. I'm going to scoot my mat up a little bit so we're not exactly side by side. Are those fake rips in her pants or real rips? Oh, they're Nike, looks like those are on purpose. Focus inward..... breathing in and out. Is that a dead bug or an alive bug right beside my hand? Okay, it's dead. Phew.

"Focus over your right shoulder toward the back wall" Oh hey, look at all those ladies. That one looks like she does yoga all the time... I wonder where she got her tank top? Hmmm...

"Now for this next pose, if you are menstruating heavily or have neck problems, please stay in a bridge pose". Eewww.. did she just say menstruating heavily? First off, if I was, I wouldn't stay in that pose because then everyone would think I was...eewww.... and why? Is it like when you're camping and bears will come to your campsite because they can smell it? No, it's probably to do with balance or having all your head rush to your blood. I wonder if that one guy in the middle is taken aback...hmmmm...

"Please turn and face the window and move your hands over to your right foot in a side lunge" Hah. I'm standing at the end of my mat so that late arriver girl doesn't get my tush in her face, but she's not moving. Too bad for you - tush in your face. That's what happens when you CROWD. Focus on breathing..... clear your mind...

Wow - this was a nice class. Not too tough, a good intro back into yoga. Now we'll get to lay on our mats and do that inward focusing thing that feels like a nap to me.. ahh.. I love that. "And as the practice comes to an end, we're going to do something a little different. It's called Humming Bee Breathing. Put your hands over your eyes and over your ears, making sure not to constrict your nasal cavity. Breathe in and as you breathe out, humm. It will take over your whole body. Lose yourself in it. I will come around and gently pat you on the shoulder when we are finished." Whaaaaaa??? What? I thought she was cool. She's DEFINITELY all yoga-y. I'm going with vegetarian for sure. Man.. I don't want to do this. What If I'm the last one to be tapped on the shoulder and I'm still humming. Ah, let it go.. what do you care? Maybe it IS a nice escape. Just go for it. Okay.... ... hmm.. this is weird, but kind of nice? I can hear humming in the background through my closed ears. Wow, we almost sound like an acapella group. Wow someone over on the right has a VERY nice voice.... concentrate, focus...... oh, there's the pat... oh and I still hear humming.. phew. and from the pretty voice girl, maybe she's used to performing and doesn't care. I bet that's it."

Namaste.